Cycling Aphorisms

This Sunday, I got yanked around multiple laps through Alanton, Broad Bay Colony, down Shore and Atlantic by Wild Bill, John, Austin, Bill W, Dan D, Green, Brian. Since I have been trying to get my groove back the past few weeks, absolutely everything seems too fast for me and I find myself getting downright mad at whoever is up front. Every time I looked up the past two days, Wild Bill was up there hollering about whatever and amping it up. It brought to mind a few bitter cycling truths:

Anyone following a “Wild Bill” deserves what she gets.

Prevailing winds change at turnaround points.

Many riders make good draft. Unless you’re the one yo-yoing on the back. Then it’s many riders make good picture on the distant horizon.

Try leading a nice weekly recovery “road ride on mountain bikes.” Second week, someone shows up with special order skinny slicks on mt. bike. Forth week, here comes the 700-c wheel cyclocross bike. Sixth week, the whole crowd has road bikes except the ride leader who is pushing extinct knobbies.

454 grams IS TO one pound AS $454 IS TO one gram saved.

The question isn’t whether or not you shave your legs. We’ve moved on to arms now.

Cyclists always lie. [This is a well-known aphorism that deserves all the repeating it gets.]