Monday, November 12, 2007

The Bully Within

Apparently, various forms of "Bully" need to be added to the road cycling dictionary. I have extensive knowledge of bullys since I have front row seating at the back of the peloton:


Pull Bully--camps out in front position 100 cranks or more too long. People like me like pull bullys since pace stays more steady.

Push Bully--pushes his/her way to the front then refuses to take a pull. I have done this plenty.

Gossip Bully--spreads the latest gossip while others in the peloton are breathing too hard to dispute rumors or to respond.

Attack Bully--turns in front of cars when there is not enough time for whole group to make the turn safely. Said bully then attacks as the group is stopped. (Also known as stupid bully.)

Aero Bully--one whose aero position is so well dialed in that those behind get no draft advantage.

Squirrel Bully--sends out memos to neighborhood squirrels, telling them to keep away from speeding peloton. That way, s/he can monopolize the terror with jerky movements and ill-timed jumps.

Clueless Bully--says things like, "Oh, you were on the ride today?" or "I never saw you" since s/he was too busy monopolizing the first 5 slots. (Also known as faster-than-me bully.)

Blanket Bully--one who touches on all bully categories.

(above photo by JB).

11 comments:

Phoenix Dirk Dark Steel said...

I know all those. There's also, "challenge bully" who taunts you during challenge centuries with comments like, "I'll do the double metric Mountains of Misery route and still beat you to the top," and does.

You, on the other hand, are a "bully" blogger as in the adjectival form of "bully" which means of course, "excellent"! I've been reading and enjoying your bully blog quite a while.

Ride on.

JB said...

Now I could easily afix a name to each of those .........



But I won't

NICE

SpeedyChix said...

Too fun! This is in keeping with the stations of the cross. Bully to you!

Bring the gang to Lumberjack

Chris said...

I definitely have been a push bully. This is a funny post.

Anonymous said...

What if you pull for a long time at speed, rotate off the pull, then the pace slows so you can't get in or to the back of the pace line, then say the hell with it, I'll pull the rest of the way, then inadvertently offend someone?

Liz Schleeper said...

When in doubt, share the right to share the load. Sounds like you could have fallen into the last position and taken the yo-yo challenge.

Kevin said...

I like when the Pull Bully finally lets you have a pull only to stay right beside you and force you to stay at the front way longer than you'd like. All the while yelling at you to go faster. I've seen this happen on numerous occasions.

kevin said...

Liz and I are definately in for Lumberjack 08!!!
Kevin

Suki said...

I'd like to add:

blog bully.

read it or die, biotches!!!

--art said...

Kevo, I call that last one the holier-than-thou bully because no matter how long he makes you stay on the front he's been there longer.

I usually stay there till I get that look like I'm about to jump out of a burning building. Then I give that crazy sob another look that says I'm moving off even if I have to take both of us down to do it. He's not so crazy...now suki?...

Kevin said...

Watch it Art! Sudoku just wrecked shop on Stress...
Hate to see what she'd whip up for you...


Also theres only one Blog Bully, and that little sensi-bitch is in a mole hole for the time being. Enjoy the peace while it lasts