Thoughts on Trial

Time Trialing. . . 13, 14, 15, sit down, settle in, stay tight, arms right, both all right, need to stay slower for now to build up build up. Remember that white house when ya come back, is this a hill a hill in Suffolk, not like the real Suffolk, not a hill but wind out, not back, not dead head, tilt right—focus, stop looking around stupid, you are slow and the one minute guy ahead is already past a minute, you’re slow, you’re slow, remember that blue house instead, where did they say that turn is, please tell me I won’t miss it like that time, that time, that time trial, that turn was not my fault I swear not my fault did anyone follow me aren’t there mile markers on this course, s--- my heart rate needs up, 79, 80, there is 86 this thing does not work, I can’t hold this, fo-focus, pavement, pavement, stay down. Cotton in March why is there cotton on branches in March, are they called branches, like that time that kid thought cotton comes from sheep, h--- that was funny, think funny, think of all of your love and all of your hate and put it into these pedals like the, why do I always remember that movie, that stupid movie, gimme me a song instead, gimme a song. I can’t feel my right heal and it has not been pushing down this whole time, hee-aal, hee-aal, count cadence, 1, 2, --10 times 10, 100 like that time I spun 100 and Sherrie passed all nice, shut up if you pass me, that disk sounded fast they always sound fast. Dog, get outta my way, everybody better have to waste time dealing with you like I just did.

Highest Bidder

Here in Virginia and even more so in MD/NoVA/DC, many of the early season races have been selling out within hours of their being advertised on Bikereg. Someone even has an entry level racer spot (Men 4/5)for auction on ebay with a starting bid of $300 (Buy It Now for $1000). Am I the only one who is watching with curiosity to see if it sells?

Cycling Aphorisms

This Sunday, I got yanked around multiple laps through Alanton, Broad Bay Colony, down Shore and Atlantic by Wild Bill, John, Austin, Bill W, Dan D, Green, Brian. Since I have been trying to get my groove back the past few weeks, absolutely everything seems too fast for me and I find myself getting downright mad at whoever is up front. Every time I looked up the past two days, Wild Bill was up there hollering about whatever and amping it up. It brought to mind a few bitter cycling truths:

Anyone following a “Wild Bill” deserves what she gets.

Prevailing winds change at turnaround points.

Many riders make good draft. Unless you’re the one yo-yoing on the back. Then it’s many riders make good picture on the distant horizon.

Try leading a nice weekly recovery “road ride on mountain bikes.” Second week, someone shows up with special order skinny slicks on mt. bike. Forth week, here comes the 700-c wheel cyclocross bike. Sixth week, the whole crowd has road bikes except the ride leader who is pushing extinct knobbies.

454 grams IS TO one pound AS $454 IS TO one gram saved.

The question isn’t whether or not you shave your legs. We’ve moved on to arms now.

Cyclists always lie. [This is a well-known aphorism that deserves all the repeating it gets.]